一月八日

Though I m past

one hundred thousand miles

I am feeling very still

And I think my spaceship knows which way to go

紀念日

Happy Birthday to The Thin White Duke.

Piledriver Waltz

Jan 6. Listening to Alex Turner's solo all day long.

I etched the face of a stopwatch
On the back of a raindrop
And did a swap for the sand in an hourglass.
I heard an unhappy ending it sort of sounds like you leaving
I heard the piledriver waltz, it woke me up this morning.

You look like you've been for breakfast at the heartbreak hotel
And sat in the back booth by the pamphlets and the literature on how to lose.
Your waitress was miserable and so was your food.
If you're gonna try and walk on water make sure you wear your comfortable shoes.

Mysteries flashing amber go green when you answer but the red on the rest of the questionnaire never changes.
I heard the news that you're planning to shoot me out of a cannon.
I heard the piledriver waltz, it woke me up this morning.

You look like you've been for breakfast at the heartbreak hotel
And sat in the back booth by the pamphlets and the literature on how to lose.
Your waitress was miserable and so was your food.
If you're gonna try and walk on water make sure you wear your comfortable shoes.

Oh, piledriver


如果你想要涉水而過，記得穿上舒適的鞋子。

A Choice of Three by Alex Turner

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKO_FOANp6k&list=AL94UKMTqg-9A_qIgJyTLLS4-8YlX3eRW2

In the tunnel I noticed I had a choice of three. While I thought it very kind of them to offer me this, I do wonder if they realized what a dilemma they were sending to face me.

The trouble was, if I looked at your reflection in the left window I missed the actual image of you and your reflection in the right. And if I looked in the right I had the same problem but the other way around.

At first I thought I should probably settle on one of the mirrors as they were soon to disappear, but that idea quickly wilted, and my attention was drawn back to the center, occasionally checking on either side.

I must say I did question the authenticity of your nap a few minutes before. As the train left Loughborough I suspected it could've been a device to avoid conversation. I'd barely considered this for a moment, however, when a heavy breath and a gulping sound that I decided would be too embarrassing to fake led me to conclude that your nap wasn't fraudulent.

I found it difficult to concentrate on anything else as you slumped beneath your coat. Delighted that we'd waited until this hour to travel so the evening sun got its opportunity to skip across those sleeping cheeks, but unnerved by the prospect of being removed from the opposing chair to yours. I knew it was reserved but hoped that whoever had reserved it had fallen over.

It looked as if today I'd be safe. The train wasn't too busy but I did take a moment to recall the time when I was less fortunate.

I remmebered it with a chilling vivivity we were on the way to Brighton.

I knew it was going to be his seat as soon as I saw him on the platform, unzipping, checking, zipping, and rechecking things. Something about his face suggested that he had for years had a mustache and had not long since removed it. He wasn't going to think twice about disposing of me, especially considering then he'd get the chance to sit with you.

Though his hiking boot-march through the carriage was rather revolting, it wasn't this that made my hands tense up into sour claws of nausea. It was the way he said it.

"You're in my seat."

No "excuse me," no polite uncertainty, just the rigid, hideous fact. The thud with which it landed expelled all my preparation. Before I remembered my plans to pretend to be asleep, deaf, French, or only sat there because someone else was in my seat, I was walking to find another vacancy.

I ended up dwelling unhappily beside a girl with a boys bum. I knew that because she walked too far past when she returned to one of what I thought to be two empty seats when I sat myself there. I fidgeted until our reunion on the platform, where you brutally informed me "That man was really rather pleasant, actually."

Today I thought I'd better make sure that couldn't happen again and I pulled the ticket from the top of my seat. It took a few attempts and the facade of hanging a jacket to finally complete. I was terribly cautious. There's a threat of punishment for such deeds by fine as far as I understand, but those shackles were at the back of my mind as I crushed the reservation in my hidden fist. Folding and squeezing as if it were that beast on the way to the seaside.

Fortunately, there was no retribution. If anything the train got quieter as the journey continued.
And so in the tunnel, unable to decide, my head flicked through this trilogy of angles, angel after angle, until we were out the other side.

My frantic twitching no doubt caused the man at the adjacent table to narrow his eyes at the very least, I imagine.

I don't know for sure.

I didn't have time tot add him to the cycle.

Cloud Atlas

《雲圖》，時代週刊列為年度爛片之王，被喻為美國第一影評人的Roger Ebert在他芝加哥前鋒報的觀影專欄喜滋滋地寫「看個三遍也不厭」，原作者大維密巧（David Mitchell）寬容的說：「任何改編都是一種翻譯」，他很感激在齷齪雞姐弟的主戲下，《雲圖》的影像翻譯帶給他緩慢燃燒的快感。而作為在終端落座的爆米花享用者，我興高采烈一部我喜愛的電影是一塊稜鏡，落下參差的光譜。畢竟只有時間才是第一公正的評判，祂才能決定一部電影的光影不朽。也總能將上一年代權威眼中的爛片變作下一年代緩慢燃燒的邪典。總有一兩個那麼睿智的電影人這麼說，人們該當發明一百種以上的看電影方法。其實相較於一些偉大肅然的經典，我往往更偏心於狂野扞格的異典。

我喜歡雲圖。當然我此刻的喜歡是毫無立場的，畢竟我還沒看過大維密巧的原著，但是電影改編有時就像一個入口，可以用來芝麻開門，也可以綠豆關窗。比如有了大衛芬奇改編的《Fight Club》，我的書架上才供奉了原作者恰克的一本本小說。相對來說，看了暮光一二集以後（接下來就沒想再看了，連吸血鬼都想要娶妻生子，歸化到人類的倫理架構來，那我們這一個個困活在人間冤獄的人類還拿什麼來幻想妖界恣情任狂的魔性浪漫啊），我根本就使不上勁去看原著。電影的《雲圖》讓我掛上崇拜的眼神擬列了書單上的《雲圖》。

我總是銘印那些啟發心象的電影，遠遠勝於它們一時駭譜（hype）的娛論價值，我所看見的雲圖，其實並不是什麼輪迴再生宇宙一體萬物共業那種西方人驚為天諭卻是咱們東方思維豆腐過家常便飯的說哏，而是這部電影以它的史詩體裁所攤展出來的時空長卷：關於「人類敘事載體演進史」的大輝煌卷軸。從史前牧羊人在古老時代的口頭敘事（最早的詩歌沒有文字，僅靠口頭誦頌），到大航海時代《白鯨記》一樣的航海日誌，再至十九世紀末世廿世紀初的交響樂章（那當然也是一種輝煌無比的敘事載體）；而在交響樂的鳴奏之間，同時間奏出一對同志戀人的情書手札（書信體作為一種迷人的文學載體）。

半世紀以後，這些手札牽出了一椿謀殺案，啟動了一個記者致力於揭發陰謀的報導文學。而所有文學需要出版，於是一個出版人撰述了他蠢象環生的個人傳記，這部傳記拿去改編成了電影（這是多麼的俄羅斯娃娃啊，俄羅斯娃娃還跑出來叫著另一個娃娃），被未來時空的複製人在亡命生涯中隨機看到──電影作者一厢情願相信電影這種敘事載體在千年未來依然流傳不朽的「死心眼」讓我死抿著嘴竊笑不已──複製人看了電影深受感動，啟引她發起解放複制人擺脫被人類殘酷奴役的革命──在未來的時空，語言和文字的載體已經碎片化，變成收藏在智能手機一樣的通訊器之中的雲端數據，藉由片段式的虛擬造像（hologram）電波傳訊。此後，文明結束。其後，文明重啟，文字尚未誕生，一切迴行最初，星空下再有一個牧羊人，張口述說故事。文明，再次既視著文明。

一個循環結束，一個循環開始，所有的文明，都經由思想接續，從口述傳誦到具象的文字，到抽象的樂章，再轉接成音相兼具的影像，而後碎片化如數據雲端的傳訊，及至機器文明時代的終結。這一些，這一些，隨著放映機的流轉，一次次驚異疑魅（amaze，我特別喜歡這個英文詞眼的迷宮意象）了我。齷齪雞和忐忑客，他們一直是我鍾愛的導演，即使總被說成一片比一片爛，但我還是不改其志，始終願意追隨他們大膽而遠曠的視野，就像天上的雲圖總為我們帶來想像不盡的雲端。

Dark Knight 啟示錄

「希望是從很多人身上升起的，並不只是寄託在一個人身上。」

一棵呢呢喃喃的樹

兩天前去看了《生命樹》這部剛在坎城領了大獎的藝術大片。據說這部電影得了大獎後引起的是「認同」或是「反對」的兩極反應。《TIME》雜誌的影評人形容得很好：「一些人看了這部電影之後，得到的要不是“WOW！”就是“HUH？“」

只有一點沒有人發出疑問句，就是這部電影確實美到飄飄欲仙。觀看這樣的電影是一次視覺上的靈性旅程，得全然交給心眼去領會。那個層次令《阿凡達》的仙境也變得平庸單調。也一如阿凡達，這種電影，必須走進電影院才能完成認證過程，令整個儀式完整。再好的高清電視和家庭影院都無法事後補償。而《生命樹》，甚至不必用上3D炫技，因為30年來才拍出五部電影Terrence Malick，證明真正的3D境界其實是在靈視之眼裡完成。

我喜歡羊同學說這部電影其實是個paradox，並置了兩種對反的概念：既是達爾文的生命進化論，同時又涵括了宗教式的靈性探索。顯然Terrence Malick試圖在兩極之間搭建上達天庭的巴比塔。《生命樹》如果只用一行字來說，就是「一部宇宙史詩」。宏觀的宇宙生合身遷演，微觀的個人生命歷程，都放到了同一系列的鏡像觀演之中。

所以這部詩意的離奇電影超脫了一般的敘事框架，以一種自由落體的方式展演，幾乎是盡量以去對白的靜鏡來推演情節，外加偶爾貫串全片的呢喃式口白，使我想到上瑜伽班時總會在結束前來上一串冥想修練，跟著導師那種類似chanting的方式進入冥想......

只不過，這種引領進入冥想階段的呢喃組曲對於我等心思浮躁的人，只要持續不到三分鐘，馬上定力不夠的陷入「昏睡」狀態而不是冥想的靈境。所以電影開場後有幾分鐘，我這種ADHD輕度患者馬上落入惘惘欲睡的恍神結界，而且有幾個段落根本就是昏睡了過去吧?!也許導演不會那麼介意我如此不認真用神地對待他的電影。

其實，誰沒有睡過那些改寫電影史的電影大師呢。什麼塔可夫斯基，安東尼奧尼，柏索里尼，甚至英瑪褒曼，等等，等等。這樣一來，說不定泰人馬力也可以算是位列此等仙班了。就因為睡過了，潛意識中我們恍然悟到了，電影其實可以是怎麼一回事。

另一位拿了坎城大獎的現代電影大帥（我們的泰國鄰居，一個真正的泰人）Apichatpong曾說：我並不介意觀眾「睡」掉我的電影，因為他們清醒之後一樣可以根據看過的畫面重組自已的看法。

這句話給了我很大的啟示。

那個啟示在於：重組。

異色守望

圖像小說（Graphic Novel）《WATCHMEN》改編的電影《守望者》，是過去十年（2001~2010）以來我最喜歡的美國電影。這部電影在2009年全球公映時，是一部讓我看完後帶著一臉被震憾到的恍惚神情走出戲院之後，內心湧起一股衝動，想再衝到售票處買票跑回戲院再看一遍的「那種」電影。儘管當時壓制了那股衝動，但我後來當然又再跑回戲院看多一次了。發了DVD光碟之後也再看了好幾次，內心湧動依然。

卻也是這部電影，讓我在和同學友好的相會聚談中很意外的聽到一連串惡評。不只一次聽到有人這麼說：“真是一部難看到極點的電影”、“這部電影難看死了”......。開始我的反應是驚詫：“為什麼？Watchmen好看極了！” 但一次兩次之後，我索性沉默，因為跟人反覆辯論認證同一件事是很累的事，況且這部電影的異質風格也確實讓它處於「hate it, or love it!」的灰色階區，而人們當然可以有各自的喜好自由。

重要的是，他人的惡劣觀感，不曾改變我對於這部電影的喜愛和擁護。

至於我為什麼那麼喜歡？但我想，關於這部電影我說什麼其實都不重要。關於書本的漫畫的電影的以至一切的次文化，首先就是，任何人說了什麼或怎麼說都不重要，重要的是自已看過了、經驗過了，再有了自已的想法（不管是正面的還是負面的）。那麼我們再來談談所有那些可以談及的無限主題和觀感。

所以《守望者》是這樣一部「看了我們再來談談」的電影。儘管看來好像《蜘蛛俠》、《鋼鐵人》那類型的漫畫英雄電影，但它其實並不包攬“娛樂保證”（雖然表面看來是一部“娛樂大片”，但這麼容易就被唬弄是那些只看明星和視效特技進場的觀眾本身的問題，事實上這部電影一個“大明星”都沒有，所有主要演員幾乎都是低本電影／B級電影／電視演員出身的二線演員），它主要是藉著視像敘事，挑激觀者對過去歷史情境和身處時代的思考和思辯。它有那麼一些異質和黑暗（當然其實不只一些），同時反英雄，反社會，反教條，反一切制式和僵化，並且荒謬而虛無，而正是這一些「邪魔的質地」讓它無法迸入主流，成為奧斯卡標準或全球影迷擁戴（想想人看人愛的《阿凡達》）的經典或是正典。

但是，「奧斯卡標準」以至一切影展的「藝術標準」還有「票房保證」（觀眾的集體認證），都是那麼沉悶而自我設限的「標準」。放開這些標準設定的「正典」，我更感興趣於那些異教式的物事，那些所謂的Cult Films，那些被主流和經典恍視的「邪典」。

所以我為什麼那麼喜歡《守望者》，為了正視人性的黑暗和傲慢，為了穿透歷史和現實的迷霧，及至宗和社會體制的悖反和荒謬。這麼大的宏觀的簡直像是只有舊俄羅斯那些偉大小說才建構出來的主題和命題，竟然是套接嵌建在次到不能再次的次文化形式上完成，這真是太黑色的幽默了。

而黑色的幽默，向來就是我最喜歡的顏色。

為此，我該向拍出這部異色作品的砸客導演（Zack Snyder）（“砸客”二字是我看過最好的名字翻譯，謝謝羊同學的神來之筆）致敬。他和《Fight Club》的大衛芬查（David Fincher）都是我最喜歡的美國導演。